(Did people really say these things?!) Yes... yes they did!
As you embark on this wild journey called parenthood, be prepared to receive an avalanche of advice – some golden, some questionable, and some so absurd you'll wonder if you've entered the Twilight Zone. But when it comes to said, unsolicited parenting advice, perhaps the best advice is to take 2 cotton balls and stuff one in each ear.
We asked real parents to share some of the best and most absurd parenting advice they've received and while some were brilliant, others just make you go... so like, what the H - E - Double hockey sticks?!! (We purposefully mixed up the good advice from the absurd advice and hope you can tell the difference. Be honest... did you know?) Let's jump in!
13 Unsolicited Parenting Advice Gems!
Your Kids Are Not You! Hold on to your parenting handbooks, folks, because the groundbreaking news is in – your kids are not carbon copies of you. Embrace the diversity, respect their differences, and offer them unconditional love even when they insist on wearing superhero capes to the grocery store. Supermarket shenanigans, here we come!
Listen to Your Children - They usually know what they need if you listen carefully enough. But beware, when your toddler insists on a pet dinosaur or requests chocolate for breakfast, maybe take that advice with a pinch of playdough.
To cure colic, blow cigarette smoke over a spoonful of formula and feed to the baby. Because nothing says "health and well-being" like introducing second hand smoke to your newborn's diet. Future Marlboro Babies, anyone?
Set Your iPad Password as Your Phone Number. In the age of touchscreen tots, teaching your child emergency numbers is paramount. So, why not transform your iPad into a high-tech learning tool in case of emergencies?
Prevent an outie bellybutton by taping a coin to your baby's belly button. Move over, piggy banks – we've found the secret to financial planning for the newborns. Just hope they don't mistake it for a snack.
Want to clear a clogged tear duct? Put pee in your child's eye. Who needs saline solution when you have a readily available, albeit questionable, alternative? Just be prepared for some confused looks during diaper changes.
Kids do well - if they can. Let's acknowledge that setting up success is crucial. It’s up to us parents to help set up success. If the rim is too high, even the most motivated and talented kids will quit playing.
If your baby has a toothache, soak a cotton ball in whiskey and give it to her to chew on. Because teething and tequila go hand in hand. Who knew a shot of whiskey was the solution to baby's first molars?
Yawns are contagious, so if you want your baby to get tired, start yawning a lot in front of them. Because apparently, parenting is just one big game of Simon Says. Yawn and watch the magic happen – or not.
Whenever parents or friends want try tell you how to parent just say “but the DOCTOR said…”. That’s right, just blame the doctor. Seven years of medical school – the ultimate trump card to silence even the most relentless advice-giver. Whether the doctor actually said it or not, drop those magical words, and watch the unsolicited guidance disappear faster than a toddler chasing a butterfly. Doctor knows best, right?
Help your baby avoid getting pneumonia by letting them cry... it helps to clear out their lungs. Forget humidifiers and proper medical care – apparently, a good cry is the ultimate lung cleanse. Pneumonia, meet your match.
If you want your baby to sleep through the night, keep her up all day. Who needs a bedtime routine when you can turn your nursery into a 24/7 baby rave? Sleep consultants, take notes – this one's a game-changer.
There's No Way to Be a Perfect Parent – but a million ways to be a good one. Perfection in parenting? Please, we're too busy searching for lost pacifiers and mastering the art of one-handed diaper changes to worry about that. There's no one-size-fits-all approach, so let's embrace the beautiful chaos of imperfection.
How many of these pearls of wisdom have you heard before? Whether you've heard them all or these are new solid truths in your child-rearing days... please take these pearls of wisdom with a pinch of baby powder and a dash of humor. Because in the grand tapestry of parenthood, laughter, love, and a well-timed eye roll are your best companions. Happy parenting, and may your days be filled with unforgettable moments and a surplus of spare Lego pieces!
