Aka the moment they realize they're basically an adult and you're just here for snacks and crowd control
There comes a moment in every parent’s life when your sweet little potato suddenly stands up, grabs a spoon (backwards), and declares war on being a baby. This moment usually arrives somewhere between 12 and 24 months, depending on the baby, the moon, and whether or not they’ve recently seen an older cousin do something cool like jump off the couch or open a snack drawer unassisted.
Welcome to the era of “I can do it myself.”
And by "do it," they mean spill it, wear it, trip over it, flush it, or climb on top of it and scream like a majestic baby goat.
So, when do babies start feeling like they’re big kids?
Developmentally speaking, around 18 months, babies start showing signs of self-awareness, independence, and something dangerously close to confidence. They begin to imitate adult behavior (so maybe ease off the muttered swearing under your breath), express their likes and dislikes (usually very loudly), and insist on doing things by themselves—like dressing, feeding, and brushing teeth—usually all at once and none of it successfully.
This is a beautiful, important part of their cognitive and emotional development. It means their brain is connecting all the dots:
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I am a person.
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Other people are people.
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Big people get to do fun stuff like open the fridge and touch the remote.
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Therefore, I must also be a big person. Hand over the scissors.
But… they’re still babies. Tiny, slightly chaotic, lovable babies.
Here’s the tricky part: your baby thinks they can drive a car. You know they can’t even find their own nose half the time. So, how do you support this Big Kid Identity Crisis without letting them burn the house down?
A few tips to support your aspiring adult while keeping them alive:
1. Offer choices.
Do they want the red socks or the blue socks? Let them pick. Do they want to brush their teeth before or after a song? Give them options. They’ll feel powerful and important—and you’ll avoid full-blown tantrums over the tyranny of toothbrushing.
2. Let them try.
Yes, watching them try to put on their own pants is like witnessing performance art in slow motion. But it’s important. Step back. Let them try. Be their biggest cheerleader (and low-key safety net when they inevitably put both legs into one pant leg and fall over).
3. Baby-proof like your life depends on it.
Because it does. The moment they decide they’re “big,” they’ll climb shelves, open doors, and drink from mystery cups with reckless abandon. Lock it all down. I’m talking baby gates, outlet covers, toilet locks—Fort Knox, but for juice-loving daredevils.
4. Encourage the effort, not just the outcome.
When your toddler “makes lunch” by putting cheese on the floor and sitting on it, resist the urge to cry into a paper towel. Say something like, “Wow, you’re working so hard to help!” and then gently redirect before they start seasoning it with their sippy cup contents.
5. Know when to draw the line.
There’s being supportive… and then there’s letting them pour their own milk into a cup balanced on a trampoline. It’s okay to say, “That’s a grown-up job,” and offer a task they can do, like placing the straw in the cup (and accidentally stabbing you with it in the process).
Final thoughts from a fellow tired parent:
Your baby is growing up—and it’s hilarious, heartwarming, and a tiny bit terrifying. One minute they’re trying to eat a crayon, and the next they’re scolding you for not wiping up the spilled juice fast enough.
It’s a wild ride. You’re doing great. And so is your tiny, wannabe-big human.
Just remember: they’ll be big soon enough. Right now, it’s okay that “doing it myself” still ends with you untangling them from a shirt and fishing spaghetti out of their diaper.
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